Raising Resilient Kids: The power of Emotional Intelligence and why this matters more than ever
As parents and educators, we are raising children in a time unlike any before.
The noise of the world; constant messages from social media, shifting cultural values, pressure to succeed, and a flood of information, competes daily for the attention and hearts of our young people. The question remains: what really helps young people grow strong, grounded, and emotionally healthy?
When we think about preparing our children for success, our minds often go to academic results, test scores, and opportunities. But research, and experience, continually point to another set of skills as essential to lifelong wellbeing: emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise and manage one’s own emotions, and to respond with empathy and understanding to the emotions of others. High emotional intelligence is linked with resilience, healthy relationships, mental wellness, and leadership capacity; skills that matter just as much in the workplace as they do at home.
‘Our children do not just need to be smart, they need to be emotionally wise.’
One of the most remarkable pieces of evidence comes from the Harvard Grant Study, one of the longest-running longitudinal studies in history, tracking participants for over 85 years. One key finding? The children who did chores early in life consistently became more resilient, empathetic, and capable adults. Emotional maturity, often formed through everyday family experiences, turned out to be more predictive of life satisfaction than intelligence or wealth.
‘Happiness is love. Full stop.’ — Harvard Grant Study
This finding is echoed in newer research, too. A study in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioural Paediatrics followed nearly 10,000 children and found that those who did chores in Kindergarten were more confident, better able to self-regulate, and more socially capable by Year 3. In other words, simple, practical habits build character and emotional intelligence early.
One of the most important traits we can help our students grow in is resilience: the ability to bounce back from setbacks, to keep going when things are hard, and to learn from failure. In a world that sometimes promotes comfort over growth, and quick success over long perseverance, resilience is a vital life skill. It gives young people the strength to face disappointment, manage stress, and develop emotional maturity.
We know that resilience grows best in the context of community and consistent support. At Emmanuel, we aim to create a learning environment where students are both challenged and encouraged. Whether through academic tasks, sporting endeavours, leadership opportunities, or learning how to navigate friendships, every experience is a chance to grow stronger in character.
The good news is that emotional intelligence is not fixed. It can be taught and learned, and adolescence is the perfect time to grow it. At Emmanuel, we foster emotional intelligence through intentional practices: pastoral care, reflection, open dialogue, leadership opportunities, and our Christian values.
The apostle Paul describes these traits as fruits of the Spirit:
‘Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control’ (Galatians 5:22–23).
These are not just religious virtues; they are the building blocks of emotionally intelligent, relationally healthy lives.
Parents and Carers can support emotional intelligence - no special training is required; just a commitment to be intentional. You can help by:
Encouraging open conversations about feelings and responses.
Modelling calm, constructive reactions to frustration or failure.
Assigning age-appropriate chores to build responsibility and capability.
Celebrating emotional growth as much as academic success.
‘Let all that you do be done in love.’ — 1 Corinthians 16:14
At Emmanuel, we believe that true education is about more than academic success. It is also about shaping the kind of people our students are becoming: young men and women who are respectful, responsible, courageous, and compassionate. These qualities do not develop overnight. They are formed through everyday experiences, through relationships, and often through challenges.
As a Christian school, our foundation for character and resilience is rooted in the belief that each student is made in the image of God, with inherent value and purpose. We teach our students that their worth does not come from performance, popularity or perfection, but from who they are—and Whose they are. This is deeply freeing, and it gives our students courage to face life’s challenges with renewed hope and grit.
We know all parents desire these qualities for their children. We are grateful to partner with families who want to raise respectful, resilient young people who contribute to their communities with compassion and integrity.
Character formation does not happen in a single lesson or at a single age; it is woven through everyday choices, examples, corrections, and encouragement. Together, as parents and educators, we can keep pointing our young people toward a life not just of success, but of depth, purpose, and lasting impact.
David Witcomb - Head of Secondary
